Tag: self love

Do More Things That Make You Forget to Check Your Phone

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I have recently touched on the social media subject on one of my previous posts. It was mainly referring to the validation us as individuals seek through social media. I ran across this quote “Do more things that make you forget to check your phone.” It reminded me of that post but in a different perspective.

I will find myself out to dinner with my significant other and we are both blowing facebook up with check ins, tagging, and “look at this meme hahaha.” Instead of “How was your day?” or “What plans should we make for the weekend?” We are updating each other on “Did you see who got in a relationship with who?” It’s completely normal to have some casual gossiping with your SO. It’s not okay when it comes to be the only thing that you conversate about is social media updates or text messages that completely consume your attention from colleagues talking about the workload for the week.

I am guilty of being the one at the dinner table and scrolling through twitter. I’m glad I ran across this quote, as simple as it may be. I would like to do activities that don’t involve a phone in my hand. I want to go hiking with my SO and friends, and not worry about the selfie we need to pose for later that make us “seem” adventurous. There’s deep conversations I want to have by the water. Not every moment you have needs to be captured on camera and posted for some likes. Some moments can just be sentimental to your heart. It is sometimes more enjoyable living in the moment and feeling the rush of every emotion when doing something you love. I always found it often frustrating when my mother would ruin a beautiful moment with the family trying to capture a photo – so she could post to facebook-because nobody was cooperating the way she wanted.

I think it’s time we do more without feeling the need to update the world. Go on a hike, go sit by the water for a few hours, go to a museum, or go eat at a new restaurant you have never been to. It will be worth it. It will be worth making as many memories as possible with people you love. It will be worth having conversations with people you love instead of wishing you made those conversations later in life.

How Many Calories are in This?

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The question I often heard to myself in my sleep is, “How many calories are in this?” Yes, I was and still can sometimes be this woman. It’s not the worst question you can ask. It can just simply mean you truly care about what is going into your body. For me? Not so much. I CONSTANTLY worried that even if something had low calories or even zero, that there is hidden calories and it’s wrong on the packaging so i am not going to eat today. That’s a raw, horrible eating disorder that I never want anyone to go through but it sadly affects individuals of all ages. I have mostly healed from that mindset, and it is NOT easy.

I don’t want to go into numbers on the scales because this is not an easy topic for me. It was a very empty, lonely and self destroying condition that I thought eventually would kill me. I am 50 pounds MORE than what I should be and that’s OKAY. I am working on it in a HEALTHY way that is also nourishing to my mental health as well.

My advice is, anyone with a eating disorder, please seek professional help. I’m not a professional but i will GLADLY talk with anyone about what they are struggling with and how we can figure out how to help them together. Sometimes, depression leaks into these kind of disorders and its hard for an individual to WANT to seek help. Motivation comes first with depression. After help is initiated and your mind is getting relief from all the negative energy, you will feel at least a little better and that there is HOPE. Once you reach the mental state of knowing there’s hope, it comes together. You will start loving yourself. Loving all the flaws and loving your body even more after the long hard battle it has fought.

You will be able to join your friends in a night out at Applebee’s for $1 Margaritas without worrying the whole time if you are looking a little bloated. As for Men, Enjoy your beer – or whatever you drink because this can live in men as well. You will be able to not be the odd one who isn’t eating Thanksgiving dinner but treating their self to a sliced apple. It’s a JOURNEY but you will get through it and be stronger than ever. People don’t take it as serious as they should, it’s a condition that will destroy your physical, mental, and emotional health.

It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay

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As I get older, and realize everything doesn’t play out like they do in the movies, I often feel like everything is just not okay. I don’t feel like my life is exactly horrible. I don’t feel like I’ve fell into a deep depression and can’t find a way out. I’ll leave that one to my therapists to figure out. I don’t feel “okay” As in, I graduated high school and didn’t go straight to college and live the dorm life like I had hoped, I’ve had a couple of failed tragic relationships and finding a job that pays all the bills and gives stability kind of not okay. All this can sometimes bring a person down and make an individual think and re-evaluate their life. Which is what I have been doing. A LOT of thinking.

I know thousands of other young adults feel this exact way too. Things just didn’t go as planned and you get to a point in your life where you are at a standstill and any move you make could make or break you. I guess that’s what life is. It’s figuring out how to get through it. Making the right decisions. I feel like life is just a huge game of chess – I don’t know how to play chess. I’ve made a few bad decisions in my life that if i would have stopped and thought it through, I could very much had been more than halfway done with college and on my way to a successful career. I still question. Even if i did take that route, would i have been satisfied? Would i feel “okay” then?

My point is, It’s OKAY to not have it all together. We’re all adults and learning how to fly through life. Were going to make more than a few mistakes. We’re going to lose friends, gain friends, quit jobs, find jobs, lose money, and win money. Life is full of surprises – as cliche as that sounds. After we stop and think about it, we do get a little sad over it. The things that COULD HAVE BEEN.Recently, I was belittled for venting about all my life choices and being “sad” about my life. It’s okay to vent and its okay to be sad. Not saying to be sad about it forever, but stop for a day, re-evaluate everything that’s happened and figure out how to make the future better for yourself. Remember, it’s okay to not feel Okay.

Hearts and Likes

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Something I have noticed among my generation is the validation from social media. I, myself is guilty of thirsting for likes on Instagram and Facebook on my “selfies.” If i lost a follower, I would immediately get weak in the stomach and rack my brain as to WHY they unfollowed me. I would even develop a little hatred towards them. YES. It was that bad. Now? I don’t care if i had one follower. I quit looking for validation through Instagram and Facebook for me to feel pretty. Yes, likes mainly coming from men reaching the hundreds will give someone a confidence boost and that’s not a problem. I would constantly wait for someone to like my picture and if someone didn’t like it in the first 5-6 minutes, I would delete it and post it later. I learned that 10:30-11PM are the times to get the likes. Which is honestly sad. I’m glad I realized that it doesn’t matter. What matters is making YOURSELF feel beautiful. Not a million men with access to Facebook or Instagram. I would perfect all my pictures. Is this angle good? Is this lighting perfect? Duck face or smile? What filters will work on this one? It was a little much and a little sad. I spent so much time worrying about if my face was the least bit chubby on a picture than worrying about my physical and mental health OUTSIDE of social media. I wanted to live this perfect life on my social media accounts when my life was and is NO WHERE near perfect at all. Some people may have the perfect life, and its totally fine to post and do whatever you want. This is mainly for people who feel like they need validation through a like to feel beautiful.